Dental Dams 101: The Queer Tool You Probably Never Got Taught About

Let’s Talk About That Mysterious Square of Latex

If you grew up under purity culture, you probably got a very edited version of “sex ed.” Maybe a banana, a condom, and a lecture on abstinence. But no one ever said the words “dental dam.”

A dental dam is a thin sheet of latex or polyurethane used as a barrier during oral sex. It’s not new; it’s just been erased. For queer women and non-binary folks, this simple square can make oral sex safer by reducing the risk of STI transmission. In other words: it’s not a mood killer, it’s a liberation tool.

Where You’ll See Them (When You Actually Do)

You’ll probably not see dental dams in your local pharmacy’s “family planning” aisle. They’re usually tucked away next to gloves or nowhere at all. You can find them online, at queer-friendly sex shops, or through brands making inclusive protection like Lorals (affiliate link): wearable latex panties that act as a dam and don’t kill the vibe.

Lorals changed the game: instead of fumbling with a plastic square mid-make-out, you can actually wear them. They’re FDA-cleared for oral sex and come in soft, body-affirming styles that make protection look sexy (about dam time 😉).

How to Use a Dental Dam Without Feeling Awkward

Sapphic Slvttery 101: Dental Dam Tutorial

Here’s the part no one ever teaches because they assume you’ll “just know.” Spoiler: you won’t. And that’s fine.

1. Check the material. Use latex or polyurethane not cling wrap. (Yes, people try. No, it doesn’t work.)

2. Open carefully. Use your fingers, not your teeth or scissors. You’re trying to have safe sex, not a paper-cut situation.

3. Place it flat against the area. Hold it gently in place, no stretching needed. If it’s too thin or too thick, you can cut an unused condom into a rectangle instead.

4. Add lube. Water-based lube on both sides reduces friction and keeps things fun.

5. Don’t flip it. Once you use one side, that’s it. Turning it over = cross-contamination.

6. Dispose after. One and done. You wouldn’t reuse a Kleenex; same logic applies.

You can also DIY in a pinch: cut off the tip and ring of a condom, then slice down the side voilà, instant barrier. Is it glamorous? No. Is it queer ingenuity? Absolutely.

Types and Textures (Yes, They Exist)

There are a few kinds:

• Latex dams are cheap, stretchy, and most common. Avoid if you’re allergic.

• Polyurethane dams are latex-free, great for sensitive skin, slightly less flexible.

• Flavored dams come in mint, strawberry, vanilla (yes, really). Ideal if you want less “medical glove,” more “dessert bar.”

• Lorals panties <<(affiliate link) are seamless, wearable, FDA-approved. They feel like lingerie, and they’re fun to include in play.

Each one serves the same purpose: protection without shame. Check out my Amazon Recommendations from Sapphic Slvttery 101 >>

Best Practices and Pro Tips

• Store them cool and dry. No glove compartment or bathroom heat.

• Check the expiration date. Latex ages like milk.

• Bring your own. Odds are your partner doesn’t have one handy.

• Normalize the conversation. “Hey, do you want to use a dam?” should be as casual as “Need some water?”

You deserve pleasure and safety in the same sentence.

Why It Matters (And Why It’s Queer as Hell)

Learning to use dental dams isn’t about fear; it’s about reclaiming autonomy. It’s a quiet rebellion against the system that pretended our sex didn’t exist. When sapphics protect themselves, they’re not just preventing infections; they’re saying, “We exist, we matter, and we take care of each other.”

And that’s the whole spirit of Sapphic Slvttery 101: pleasure, safety, and community.

Homework (Yes, I Said Homework)

If you’ve never seen or used a dental dam before, order a pack (or Lorals panties <<(affiliate) if you want to level up). Try one out to see how it feels. Knowing your tools before the moment strikes turns “awkward” into “effortless.”

Safe sex doesn’t have to be clinical; it can be queer, clever, and damn empowering.